


Stiles is Dangerous with a Camera Phone

by cdavis594



Series: Sterek One-Shots [2]
Category: teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: Derek Loves Stiles, Derek's Monster Cock, Established Relationship, Fluff, Kinda Dick pics, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Near Future, Sexual Humor, Student Stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-26
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 08:38:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1851619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cdavis594/pseuds/cdavis594
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles has an interesting wallpaper on his phone and the pack are confused; Stiles uses a little too much information and possibly talks about Derek's dick more than he feels comfortable with when his Betas are listening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stiles is Dangerous with a Camera Phone

It was a normal, chilled out Saturday afternoon spent sprawled out across the living room of the refurbished Hale house; the pack was back in Beacon Hills for Spring Break and what did they do with their precious time? They constructed blanket forts and puppy piles, of course.

It seemed everybody had found their perfect match; Erica lounged snugly between Boyd’s legs on the fluffy green loveseat, Scott lay across the L-shaped sofa with his head securely in Isaac’s hands, long fingers carding through his hair, Lydia sat in the corner section of the L-shaped sofa with Allison’s feet in her lap, she absentmindedly massaged those feet while Allison allowed all her blood to rush to her head with it hanging over the edge of the sofa. Then there was Stiles and Derek; Derek lay on the floor, on top of a mountain of pillows and blankets, flat on his back with Stiles slumped lazily paralleled on top of his body. The open fire beside them roared with logs and coal and Derek tiredly drew shapeless patterns into his mate’s back; Derek knew he had everything he wanted and needed, and for once in his pitiful life, he couldn’t be damn well happier.

Of course, the peaceful silence was interrupted by the ping of Stiles’ phone; Stiles’ head bounced up from where it lay nestled on Derek’s sternum and he looked around dazedly for his phone. Isaac picked it up from the coffee table beside the sofa, and he was about to get up and give it to Stiles when Lydia got a brilliant idea.

“Wait, no; gimme the phone, curls!” Lydia barked and Isaac sighed, tossing the phone at her; Stiles rolled his eyes and settled back on his comfy Derek bed.

“Oh… em… gee! Stiles… is that... no… it can’t be…” Lydia turned the phone around, examining the interesting wallpaper he had on it.

“What’ve you found? Does he have Derek’s dick-pics? Does he have his own dick-pics?” Erica cried, waking up Boyd in her attempt to struggle out of his grip.

“No… well… no, I don’t- no… it’s… a cloud?” Lydia pursed her lips, looking at Stiles’ wallpaper like Scott looked at the string theory.

“A cloud? That’s lame; lemmy see!” Erica tore the phone from Lydia’s hands and earned the same reaction; she twisted and turned the phone around until she settled on a half frown-half smirk.

“Yeah, it’s a cloud. A cloud that is shaped like a penis! Stiles, did you seriously google images of penis shaped clouds?” Erica looked over at him incredulously and he turned to look at the confused looks on his packs’ faces; Erica passed the phone around so everybody got a look at the picture that most certainly was just a cloud shaped like a giant heavenly dick.

“No, you idiots; I took that picture myself! I was lyin’ in my back yard a couple days ago and it was really nice out so I was just chillin’, then I was watching the clouds and all of a sudden, along comes this cloud – pun intended – that’s shaped like a massive cock. So, me being me, I snapped a pic, then I looked at it a little more and I realised that no, it wasn’t just any other massive cock; it was a familiar massive cock! In a pure, honest, light bulb above the head moment, I shouted ‘that’s my boyfriend’s shaft!’ and my neighbour’s an old bat and she gave me the stink eye from inside the house!” Stiles stopped to take a breath and the entire pack had their gaping eyes and mouths trained on him; they had heard him doing some pretty weird shit in college, but this one topped the pile.

“So, as you can see, I thought; it’s not every day you see a cloud shaped like your boyfriend’s dick, so I set it as my wallpaper. There; end of story. Questions?” Stiles looked up at the pack and Erica had resumed her place between Boyd’s legs, while they all still stared at him.

“Why on this green earth would you ever see that as being a normal thing to do?” Isaac raised his confused puppy eyes on Stiles and Stiles shook his head, turning his face back to the fire as Derek resumed his drawing.

“If my love and devotion to my boyfriend and his glorious cock is wrong, I don’t wanna be right!” Stiles mumbled with the biggest dramatic flourish he could muster up; and that really wasn’t much.

“Gimmy the phone; let me see it.” Derek grumbled and the phone was handed to him; he held the phone above his head and stared at the picture Stiles had captured. Derek had absolutely no idea what to say; Stiles had really managed to shock him this time.

“Stiles…”

“Yes baby?”

“That looks nothing like my genitals.”

“Ugh, how so?” Stiles was rolling his eyes at this point.

“For one, my dick is a hell of a lot straighter than that!” Derek sounded downright appalled, but Stiles really didn’t have the energy to care.

“Yeah, when you’re fully hard; I’m thinkin’ more half-mast really, and if you turn it to the right a little, that hot air balloon kinda looks like that hickey I gave you that one time- ” Stiles’ sentence was cut short as Derek flipped them over, pinning Stiles to their soft makeshift mattress.

“We don’t talk about that, remember? That was weird, even for us, and although I do not regret it, I still don’t enjoy recalling a hickey on my dick, capishe?”  Derek snarled and Stiles looked up at him, biting back a grin.

“Derek, babe, we’ve tackled accidental knotting and that one time I lost the key to the handcuffs, a cloud-dick pic is really at the bottom of our ‘most embarrassing things to happen while we’re having sex’ list. And yes, I did make a list for that, and it’s as long as my arm.”

Derek rolled his eyes; he was a twenty-seven year old alpha with a nineteen year old spark for a boyfriend, and no matter how well he thought he knew Stiles, he never could avoid being surprised sometimes.

“I feel disturbed…” Scott grumbled, hiding his face in Isaac’s stomach grumpily.

“Scott, we’re roomies; you’ve walked in on a hell of a lot worse and you know it.” Stiles sassed back.

“Don’t remind me!” Scott threw a throw pillow at Stiles and Stiles grinned, throwing it back just as hard.

“You’re just a lil’ bitch; don’t hate the player, hate the game, Scotty!” Stiles lulled himself back into a heavy snooze, baking in the heat from the roaring fire that heated the winter-chilled living room of the refurbished Hale house.

 That's the wallpaper :P

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short fic I came up with that nobody asked for, so if it's terrible, I'm not sorry; just some pack cuddle times which is the thing I die for!!!  
> Thank you for reading anyway; means a lot!!


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